Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Some thoughts on marriage...

Last Friday J and I went downtown to apply for our marriage license. Because of the hours the office keeps, J had to take a day off work to come down. This oh so important office was under-staffed by two 60-70 something women--both pleasant, but not particularly quick-paced, and frequently interrupted by phone calls wanting the marriage performing judge's phone number.

As you might imagine, the queue of couple applicants for marriage ran the gamut of uniqueness. J looked around and whispered in my ear, "We look like the most wholesome couple here." (one of my co-workers informed me later that J and I are more than likely the most wholesome couple in many places.) Several couples looked to have international partners involved. One couple was a petite, curly headed guy and a head taller, heavyset, spiky haired girl. But, the most mystifying couple stood directly in front of J and I for at least 15 minutes of our wait time. He was a scrawny fellow with a much too large polo shirt and boxer revealing denim shorts (now close to pants). She on the other hand was wearing short-short denim shorts and a black t-shirt that no matter how hard she tugged, just didn't quite meet her waistband. Her neck was adorned with three heavy gold necklaces and every single finger was decked out with at least one jeweled, gold ring. As we watched, she reached up and starting popping a pimple on the side of the guys face! And before long I realized that they were getting their marriage license and going directly to the judge to be married. I marveled at what appeared to be a disaster waiting to happen. They'll get married, but how will it last? When her mom called her cell she answered it with an exasperated "what?" and the conversation followed suit. She thought it was crazy that her mom might want to be present at her daughter's wedding.

What are people thinking when they get married?
I am thrilled to become J's wife. But I also know that it is a huge commitment we are making to each other before God and I know that it's going to take a lot of work. It will be worth it, of course, but it's not like marrying each other is going to fix the issues in our own lives. I am so very thankful for the amazing examples of marriage that have been modeled for me. My grandparents have been married for 65 years; my other grandparents were married nearly that long before my grandpa passed away; my parents have been married for 33 years; my aunts and uncles and J's parents have almost all been married longer than that. What an amazing heritage we have before us. One that acknowledges the many joys and the challenges of marriage. They vows I take in just 2 1/2 weeks are very serious to me and while I cannot fully understand the magnitude of what I'm taking on, I know marriage is a big deal. I'm thankful my family and friends will be there to witness it. I'm glad that it is going to be a separate, special day, not just another Friday where pimples are popped in public and the sacred union of marriage seems to be mocked by immaturity.


Barbara D said...


You are a great writer! The scene came alive for me. At least she tried to pull the to down to her waist.

You have a balanced perspective going into marriage and I know you do so looking to the Lord for guidance. May you both have many, many years together and keep leaning on the Lord through the tough and not so tough times - both will come.

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